The power of being

I've wasted so much time trying to do things. Then I beat myself up for wasting time. When the truth is that time is not mine to waste, if time exists anywhere besides in the minds of humans, I am here when I am and I'm gone when I'm not. But marking my passage and holding the universe accountable is inauthentic to an infinitly expanding universe. There is no time, only being. The idea of 'now' is equally as pointless a concept in infinity, because there can be no other thing. Now does not exist in infinity, and it is all that there is. I've never tried. I've only worried; fretted, considered, and sought consensus. I call it trying to feign progress. Thinking about doing is a waste of...infinity? In infinity all moments shrik to nothingness, and in nothingness all things are possible. Freedom to create comes from the ultimate blank canvas. But this damn cause and effect thinking is a rusted trap. If I could just get beyond the effect and just be cause, leaving the effect in the past instead of in the future. Move ahead of result or leave it for those trapped in time to consider. To be cause and being in one quintessential point of infinity, leving effect to shrink into nothingness with the rest of the universe that is always expiring. Never to strive. Never to try. Just being.